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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23707207">You Matter to Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Never_Stop_Dreaming/pseuds/Never_Stop_Dreaming'>Never_Stop_Dreaming</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>California for the Fosters Fics [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Black Friday - Team StarKid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:14:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,989</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23707207</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Never_Stop_Dreaming/pseuds/Never_Stop_Dreaming</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I...Lex, can I tell you something?”</p><p>Lex felt her brow furrow, but she took his hand, squeezing it gently. “Of course. You can tell me anything.”</p><p>Ethan looked down at their intertwined hands, his foot tapping nervously.</p><p>“Lex… I…. I’m so lonely.”</p><p> </p><p>Aka Lex and Ethan get into a fight.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lex Foster/Ethan Green</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>California for the Fosters Fics [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1696093</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You Matter to Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Angst time! But it is important to the rest of the series 😂</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Looking back, Lex didn’t know why the fight escalated the way it did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Things were overwhelming for Lex. She had three part time jobs, and had recently signed onto a new show that had rehearsals almost every night. More often than not, Hannah was left in Ethan’s hands for the whole day and most of the night. She would come home, exhausted and fatigued, to find Ethan and Hannah asleep in their beds. But Ethan has seemed to be shouldering it well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seemed to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You don’t have rehearsal tonight, right?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“So you’ll be home?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish, but I took another shift at the gas station. I’m not gonna be home until pretty late.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Right. Of course not.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“The fuck is that supposed to mean?!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From there, things only got worse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t have the time for this, Ethan!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re the one blowing stuff out of proportion! I said one thing!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Is that seriously your defense?! You’re just not gonna talk to me?!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Well, you just don’t have the time now, do you?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lex felt the tears welling up again. She clamped her eyes shut, trying to block the memory, but it persisted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What the fuck is wrong with you?! Do you know how hard I worked to get us here?! If it weren’t for me, Ethan, you’d still be stuck with that piece of shit father!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh, is that so?! Well, forgive me for not bowing at your feet and praising you for the almighty fucking savior that you are! After all, I’m just some fucking kicked puppy, huh?!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ve never thought of you that way and you know it!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I sure thought I did, yeah!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A choked sob left Lex’s lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You know what, Ethan?! Fuck you!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What are you gonna do?! Leave?! What the fuck do you think you’ve been doing to me and Hannah since we got here?!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m the one providing everything! I bring home the money that you use to feed ourselves! I’m the one running from place to place working my ass off just so that we don’t fall behind on rent! You’re just a dumb fuck riding off of what I give!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That had struck a nerve in Ethan. She remembers vividly how he had gone silent and pale, gray eyes hurt. How he had turned away, blinking rapidly to block the tears. She remembers looking around and seeing Hannah in the doorway of the bathroom, crying quietly into cupped hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She should have apologized. She should have tried to make things right. She should have done </span>
  <em>
    <span>something.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But instead, she just left, slamming the door behind her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And now, here she was, at the gas station, panicking in the supply room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lex?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She tried in vain to wipe her eyes. Jeremy, one of her coworkers at the gas station, walked inside. He was a scrawny kid, barely older than her, with big blue bug eyes hidden behind glasses and straw colored hair that stuck out at weird angles. He was nice enough, and the two got along fairly well. The moment he saw her, he knelt down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lex felt her throat clench, a wave of nausea washing over her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ethan and I got into a fight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jeremy’s eyes widened. He reached a hesitant hand forward to touch her shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How bad?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you think?!“ she snapped. Her voice was thick, and she had to swallow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You guys aren’t gonna break up, are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… oh, God I hope not-“ Jeremy shushed her softly, shifting awkwardly until he sat next to her. The story flooded out like a burst dam, tears flowing freely at this point. When she finished, Jeremy handed her a tissue from his pocket, which she accepted gratefully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should you be here right now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to be. I need the money.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you need to go home and talk to him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, shut up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, geez! You don’t have to take my advice. But at least call him. If you want to leave early, I’ll tell the boss you have really bad period cramps or something. But the sooner you can sit down and talk, the better. It sounds like both of you are really overwhelmed and just need to sit down and talk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He patted her shoulder once and left, leaving her to think. She wiped her eyes and steadied her breathing, drumming her fingers on her knee. After a bit of debating, she pulled her phone from her pocket and dialed his number.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The phone rang for a bit. It was late at night, and perhaps he was already asleep. But it finally picked up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Ethan.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Lex.” His voice was muffled, but it was there. Her throat went dry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is Hannah asleep?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Is that all?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>More silence. She locked her jaw, forcing her head up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m coming home. I think we need to talk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. That sounds like a good idea. I’ll stay up for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks. I’ll be home in a few minutes, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hung up, taking a deep breath. She forced herself to stand, walking out of the gas station and waving to Jeremy on her way out. Her heart was pounding, but she refused to let herself stop, climbing into the car and driving to their apartment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When she got home, she was careful to be quiet with slipping off her shoes and hanging up her keys. She found Ethan sitting on the couch, a lit cigarette carefully dangling from his lips. She took a moment to look him over, and her chest twisted. His shoulders were slumped, dark circles forming under his eyes, which were bloodshot and swollen from crying. He was tapping his foot anxiously, something that he did only when he was scared and trying hard not to show it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Something he only did when he knew his father was waiting for him at home.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ethan?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked up, stopping his foot. She opened her mouth to say something, to apologize, to beg him to forgive her, but a choked sob left her lips instead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lex.” In an instant, he was by her side, pulling her close. And despite the fact that she was supposed to be mad at him, she buried her face into his neck, letting herself go. Ethan wouldn’t judge her for this, she knew. It was a routine that they had both grown accustomed to in Hatchetfield, one that she had prayed would be over when they got to California.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t cry, Lex, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lex let out a watery laugh, letting herself be led to the couch. She took a shaky breath, pushing her hair out of her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things. You’re not a dumb fuck, you’re the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. You take care of Hannah and-“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I...Lex, can I tell you something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lex felt her brow furrow, but she took his hand, squeezing it gently. “Of course. You can tell me anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ethan looked down at their intertwined hands, his foot tapping nervously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lex… I…. I’m so lonely.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She blinked in surprise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m at the apartment all day with Hannah. I love her, you know that, it’s just… sometimes she can be… a lot. She gets really stubborn randomly and she gets really upset easily. I have to make breakfast, get her dressed, keep her entertained all day, make her lunch, clean up after her, make her dinner, and put her to bed every night. And with you gone all the time, it’s just me and her. I feel like I don’t have a purpose. I just feel so </span>
  <em>
    <span>useless</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She buried her face into his shoulder, taking a shuddering breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I miss you, Lex. I miss us. We haven’t had a date night since we got here. I know you’re busy, and you don’t really have the time, but I miss just goofing off and spending time together.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I miss us too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And she did. Even in Hatchetfield they found time for each other, whether it be going to see a movie, grabbing dinner at a fast food restaurant, or even just sitting on the roof of her mom’s trailer, smoking and talking about their future. About California. She mustered up courage, lifting her head from his shoulder to speak.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I miss Hannah. I almost never get to see her with my work schedule. We used to be so much closer than we are now. And I hate most of those jobs. I just feel like I have to be doing everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m tired of working so much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ethan stayed quiet for a bit. His foot had stopped tapping, but he was still tense. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to be like you, Lex. You always know what and who you wanted to be. You have a passion, and now you’re living your dream. You’re becoming an actress.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gave a dry laugh. “We’re both pretty unhappy right now. This isn’t the dream I wanted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He barely seemed to hear her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Every teacher I ever had in high school told me I was stupid. They said I’d never make it. That I was just going to be working minimum wage for the rest of my life. Tom was the only teacher I ever really liked. He was the only one who told me I could do anything I wanted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His shoulders sagged, and he swallowed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guess he turned out to be wrong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. He didn’t.” She lifted his chin with her free hand so that he was looking her in the eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks to you, I get to act. Now it’s your turn. We’re going to find you something you really love. I can quit some of my jobs if you can pick up some of the slack. That way there’s more time for you and Hannah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lex, I’m not like you-“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No you’re not. But if you were, I’d never want to go out with you. You are way different than me, and that’s why I love you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He let out a weak chuckle, nuzzling her cheek affectionately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have so much heart. And you’re loyal and genuine, and when you have an idea, you work for it with so much enthusiasm and hope, and you don’t quit. I guarantee that if you look for a job that you genuinely love, they will take you, no matter what those fucking teachers thought of you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ethan looked at her, eyes cloudy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think so?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’d be stupid not to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His free hand came up to touch her cheek, and he drew her in to kiss her, warm and chaste. She almost wept with relief, and she reached up to brush his hair from his forehead when he pulled away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are we done being mad now?” he asked softly, his thumb tracing circles on the back of her hand. She let out a weary chuckle, nodding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Can we cuddle? I’m exhausted, and we haven’t done that in weeks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anything you want.” He started to get up to head to their bed, but she pulled him back down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t really feel like getting up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He laughed, out loud, and hearing him laugh was enough to send her into a fit of giggles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minutes later, they were lying on the couch, her back against his front, head pillowed on one of his outstretched arms and his other arm wrapped firmly around her waist. There was a comfortable silence before Ethan spoke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna start looking for a job tomorrow.” His face was still buried in her hair, and she could feel his breath on her neck. She let out a hum, turning her face so she could press a quick kiss to his arm,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Make it count, okay? But don’t feel rushed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it was okay, she thought. Lying here, completely at peace. Things were going to be okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
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